I wake up with a gasp and clutch the phantom pain in my chest. Even though it was all a virtual training program, the pain feels real when you’re in the middle of it. I slam my fists on the arm rests before I unhook myself.
They’re never going to let me into the military if I can’t complete this mission.
I hang my head low as I enter the control room waiting for the monitor to scold me of my
failure yet again.You can imagine my surprise when the monitor is smiling.
“You do realize that nobody as young as you has ever made it that far right Erroll?”
It’s not good enough for me. And what does my age have anything to do with it. So what if I have to be 18 to technically join the military. I bet if I could complete this mission they would finally allow me to join early.
Some of my peers are already serving their time, but you have to have your parent’s permission to do so. And since my parents are about as far away as can be, I’m stuck waiting until my age deems me mature enough to fight.
It doesn’t help that the General doesn’t look too highly upon me. It is pretty much his fault that I’m stuck here while my family and girlfriend, Hayley, are away.
Wait, I keep calling Hayley my girlfriend. That’s odd. What I mean to say is that she is a girl and a friend, we haven’t quite crossed over into the relationship category just quite yet. Things were going smoothly with us before I got banished from crossing over with everyone else.
And now she has spent the last 2 years over there and I know Darren Damien has been all over her since day one. Man I hate that guy. What a stupid name too.
I guess to be fair it wasn’t the Generals fault, it was really his son Darren’s. But did he get punished? Nope, just me. That seems to be they way it always goes for me though, I always end up being the poster boy of punishment. Someone needs to be made an example for others to learn their lesson, and that person was always me.
The General has always had it out for me ever since I punched Darren in the first grade for calling my mother a bad name. Ever since then, every little thing I do gets blown way out of proportion.
At least he can’t stop me from entering the fight simulators. The day I turned 16 I have spent nearly every day in there, trying to become a better solider so when I finally do get to join the military I will be better prepared.
I don’t overly care to join so I can fight the wars here on earth, I really just want to prove to my country that I am good enough to be sent over to Zola to be with my parents and girlfriend.
Dang it, I did it again. I mean Hayley is my friend that is a girl.
All this time and I forgot the Monitor was staring at me as if waiting for me to say something back to him. I think he complimented me. Oh yeah, I now remember that I was disappointed that I couldn’t finish.
But I guess being the youngest person to get that far is good in of itself.
“Thanks Mitch. Maybe next time, huh?”
“Same time tomorrow?”
I nod as I walk out. I glance at my watch, I still have 2 hours until dinner time. This gives me a perfect time to go to the Coma Room in the hospital and visit my family and friends.
The Coma Room is aptly named. It is a warehouse in the basement of the hospital filled with the 499 unconscious bodies of the travelers to the planet Zola. There is one empty cot next to my parents.
As I sit down on that cot I can’t help but think about the fact that my body was supposed to be lying here with my parents. My parents look exactly the way they did the day they left. Except now they are hooked up to machines to keep their bodies alive for the day their consciousnesses are transferred back from Zola. There is still three more years until that day comes when those who want to return can.
I have a sinking suspicion that my parents will not be among those that return to Earth. Ever since the Zolans first visited our planet and shared their knowledge with us, my parents were studied every little thing they could get their hands on. It worked out in their benefits since they are now are one of the people that run the Ambassador program.
Think of it like studying abroad. Only much more complicated.
The Zolans, with their advances in technology, created clones on their planet of all 500 of the Ambassadors. They also shared the knowledge with us on how to transfer our consciousnesses to those clones on Zola. When the day came, 499 of them were sent over two years ago.
As I sit on the empty cot, I can’t help but realize the irony of the situation. The day of the transfer, there were 500 full cots on Zola. And now, the only body that remains over there is my clone, waiting to wake up the day my consciousness is allowed to get sent over.
But that day is nowhere on the horizon.
“Hey dad.” I place my hand on his shoulder as if he could feel me. It makes me feel better to think he can. “I got to the end of the fight simulator today. I didn’t beat it though, but Mitch, remember him? The Monitor guy that lived down the street from us? Well, he said I’m the youngest person to ever get that far. Pretty exciting right?”
I pause for a moment imagining what my father’s reaction would be. He would be happy, sure, but there would also be a challenging look in his eye. As if I can do better. Which is true, I can do better.
“I know what you’re thinking dad, but that means when I do finally beat it, I’ll be the youngest person to win.”
Maybe then he will be proud of me.
I wish our last words could have been something better. They’ve haunted me for the last two years and nothing I seem to do can shake them from my memories. We stood at the door of the Coma Room and he looked me in the eyes and shook his head.
He didn’t say anything like he loved me, or he’ll miss me, nope. All he said was “I’m disappointed in you.”
I can’t really blame him, I mean all he really knew was that two days before the transfer I got busted for being involved in a fight. According to the General, I was too high a risk to be sent over to Zola as an Ambassador. His word to describe me was volatile.
I had to look that word up in the dictionary, and I’m still not sure how that describes me, but it seemed to make sense to my father.
He was so embarrassed and angry at me that he didn’t speak to me at all for the last two days. Then when he finally did say something to me, that was all he said. I wasn’t going to see my father for 5 years and that was all he wanted to say to me?
But like I said, I can’t really blame him. I guess in his shoes I’d be pretty disappointed in myself too. What he didn’t realize was the reason for the fight. All he could see was the outcome.
I walk over and kneel at my mother’s bedside. I couldn’t stay with my father for too long, it usually upsets me too much. My mother was the beacon of warmth and comfort though. The two days before the transfer, it was like she couldn’t hug me enough. She told me she was trying to get 5 years worth of hugs in those two days. Talk about embarrassing.
Truth be told though, I’d give anything to have another one of those hugs from her. They made me feel safe. And more importantly, they made me feel normal.
Hardly anyone makes me feel normal. Most adults around here look at me as if I’m some problem child because my “incident” as they call it, became world famous since it barred me from visiting the new planet.
Everyone thinks I’m some wild kid who is ready to blow at the slightest provocation. Like I’m some thug just looking for a fight. When in fact I’ve only ever been in two. The one in first grade, then the one right before the Transfer.
Ironically both were because Darren provoked me. I swear he did it because he knew what my punishment would be. Without me around, Darren had free-reign on flirting with Hayley.
Man I hate that kid.
I shake my head as if that will remove the thoughts from my mind. I lean over and kiss my mother’s forehead to remind me why I am in this room, and it isn’t to dwell on my anger. It is to visit those I love.
Not that I love everyone that I visit. I mean I love my parents, and I love my best friend, Hubert, like a brother. And then there’s Hayley. I can’t say that I love her like a sister. I don’t really remember what it felt like to have a sister but I know it wasn’t like this. I can’t say exactly how I feel about her at all actually. I know she makes me feel something special, but other than that I can’t describe it. But that isn’t why I am here.
“I’m sorry I keep getting distracted mom. I promise I am all yours now. I hope everything is going well on Zola. Guess what I did last night? I cleaned the entire house, top to bottom. Well, I mean I finished it last night, it’s taken me a better part of a week. I found the old music box you bought for Frieda.”
Frieda was my sister. She was kidnapped when we were both younger. My parents paid the ransom but she was never found. I guess there’s a chance that she is still alive out there somewhere, but I’ve long ago accepted the fact that she is probably dead. Morbid, I know, but when you wait ten years to find someone, eventually you run out of hope.
It’s not so bad anymore. The earlier years were the roughest, but now it’s kinda just a part of life. Yeah, I have a sister who was kidnapped and is probably dead. Not really a big deal anymore. It’s not insensitive to say that, it’s calloused. There’s a big difference.
“I wound it up and fell asleep to it last night. I had dreams of her. Well, of us. I dreamt what it would be like if we were all together. We were on Zola, and I was trying to get out of going to school for the day. Like always. But not Frieda. She was dressed and ready to go learn something new before any of us had breakfast yet. At least I imagine she would still be like that. Do you think she would still like school?”
I wish my mother would answer me. Sadly, if my mother were in her body, I wouldn’t have talked to her about my sister. That’s a subject we stopped talking about a long time ago. I guess it hurts less for my parents to think she never existed. But I know better. I used to hear my mom crying at night sometimes when my dad was at work and she thought I was sleeping. I peeked in the door one night and saw her holding a picture of all four of us. When we were a real family.
“I miss her too mom.”
I kiss my mom on the forehead again and walk away. Too much sadness today. The only cure for that? My best friend Hubert.
Hubert isn’t exactly what you would call normal. Sometimes it seems as if he never really grew out of certain things. When we all got older and stopped playing with action figures or watching cartoons, Hubert never changed. His parents even took him to the doctors once, but they said nothing was wrong with him.
But that’s kinda why I like him. Hubert makes me feel like there isn’t a care in the world. Sometimes he would want to go to the swings and we would just sit there for hours talking. We never stressed about school or girls or sports or anything, we just hung out. It’s almost like Hubert missed the day that the rest of us teenagers lost our innocence.
He gets made fun of a lot for that, but that’s why he has me for a friend. I stick up for him, and threatened to get in many more fights for him, but thankfully it never came to that. The beauty of it is that he never really realizes that he is getting picked on. I always wondered what his world looked like. I swear the colors must be brighter and the birds must sing more. I wish I could see that, just for one day.
It’s good I’m around for him. Otherwise he wouldn’t have any friends. I used to think that he wouldn’t have even noticed if he didn’t have friends, because he seems like he could be fine completely alone. But one time he went on vacation and his parents said he actually seemed depressed until he came home and we hung out. Maybe he only needs one friend.
I sit on the floor and lean my back against his cot. Sometimes I feel more like an older brother to him than his best friend, but I’m okay with that too.
I wish he could have stayed behind with me. His parents were really worried about taking him with them as an Ambassador, but in the end they couldn’t part with him. Once the doctor checked him out, there was nothing I could do to stop them. I hope he found another friend up there, otherwise it’s going to feel like that vacation again, only longer without me.
“What’s up Hubert? Your favorite comic book came out today, I bought it for you earlier and put it in the box with all the others. Man, you are going to have so much to read when you get back. I peeked at it, it’s getting pretty good. You’d never guess what. Someone, who you thought was good, ended up being evil all along. I won’t tell you who, I don’t want to ruin it for you, but man, I didn’t see it coming. I’m actually still not sure how I feel about it. I’d love your opinion on it.”
I close my eyes and try to wonder what he is doing up there on Zola. “Are you watching out for Hayley for me like you promised? You make sure to remind her everyday that I’m still around down here. And tell her that Darren is a creep, okay? You promised.”
I say goodbye and stand up to walk toward Hayley. This is where I always run into the same problem.
For some reason everyone else down here just seems like they’re sleeping so I have no problem just talking to them like normal. But there’s something different about Hayley. The last time I saw her she seemed so still and lifeless. I had a mini panic attack and had to run out the room. I wanted to shake her awake so bad, but I knew it wouldn’t do anything.
I can’t take another step. I see her in the distance. I want to sit by her side and talk to her, but it’s too difficult with her. I can’t look at her. I can’t talk to her. What’s the point anyway? She can’t hear me.
I wish I was on Zola right now. Everything would be so much better.
“Attention: Will Erroll Redd please report to Admin office 256. Erroll Redd to Admin office 256 immediately.”
Did my name just get called over the loudspeaker? I thought that only happened in school. I didn’t even know the Coma Room had a loudspeaker. And Admin room 256? I thought the offices stopped at 250. I haven’t been to the Admin offices since the day I got told I wasn’t getting transferred.
In my experience I’ve found that the only time you are called is for bad news, so every step I take is a tentative one. I take one last glance back at Hayley and am actually thankful for the excuse not to visit her. At least this way I wouldn’t have to stare at her wondering what to say.
I feel my heart racing and a sickness growing in my stomach as I exit the Coma Room and make my way to the administration building.
Chapter Three
The Administration offices I’m heading to is a large two story building located in Downtown. It’s impossible to miss. It’s the shortest of the Downtown buildings but it takes up an entire city block. It’s also the only building around that seems to be made up entirely of this red stone. I think they call it brick. It’s one of a kind and really kinda cool to look at, I just wish it served a more fun purpose.
You don’t get more boring than the admin building. It’s sectioned off to have a bunch of smaller offices inside designated to all the main departments. It’s also where the courthouse is located. As well as the Generals office. Hence, my last few visits here.
As soon as you walk into the room, there are two guards that search you to make sure you aren’t bringing in anything dangerous. And since I’m not, I’m ushered inside to the main receptionist desk.
Before I even say my name, the older woman nods at me. “Proceed to the elevator Mr. Redd, they are expecting you.”
I really want to ask her what this is all about, but she seems pretty tight-lipped. I think my best way to get information is to actually hurry up and get to the office.
Surprisingly, there is another guard in the elevator. He nods at me and uses his key to open a small panel. I’ve never even noticed that panel before, let alone seen anyone push the unmarked button. The elevator rises and we land at floor 2.5. When the elevator door opens I see a very short hallway with five doors on each side.
I take a hesitant step out and the guard doesn’t seem to be accompanying me. As soon as I clear the elevator, the doors close again and I hear it descend. The door to my left is room 251, so I walk down the hall. In no time at all I stand in front of the door marked 256.
I’m not sure what the protocol is here. Do I just walk in or do I knock? I don’t even know what is inside this room. There could be another receptionist waiting for me, or for all I know it could just be a big empty room with a single chair in the center of it. I really hope it isn’t as foreboding as that.
I guess I waited at the door too long because after a few seconds, someone opens it from the inside. He is a young man, maybe in his mid-twenties, dressed in full military garb. He also nods at me. People in this building seem to nod a lot.“Come in Mr. Redd.”
I’m not used to people calling me that. That’s what they call my dad. I don’t mention this as I step past him and into the room.
It is indeed nothing but a large room, and there is a single chair in the center, but what I didn’t imagine was the chair faced a long table with several important people sitting at it. This reminds me of when I got punished.
My mind quickly races to the last few weeks and I wonder if I have done anything wrong. As far as I can tell, there is no reason I should be getting in trouble. Not like that has mattered in the past though.
My heart drops a little when I see that the General is one of the people sitting in the chairs on the other side of the table. I recognize a few of the other people too, and I’m surprised to see all of them. Least of whom is the Vice President himself.
An older woman with long gray hair stands up and smiles at me. I know this woman well. She is the Earthbound liaison for the Ambassadors. She works directly with my parents.
“Hello Erroll.”
“Hello Mrs. Montgomery.”
“Please have a seat.”
With no other option available, I sit down at the lone chair and adjust to attempt to get myself comfortable. But this is not a comfortable room. There is a tension in the air that is undeniable.
The other thing that is easy to notice is that every single one of the people behind the table seem so very, very tired as if they haven’t slept for days.
We all stare at each other in awkward silence. I feel as if they are waiting for me to say something, but all I want to do is remind them that they called me here. So I sit and wait.
The General is the first one to speak.
“This is a mistake.”
The others shoot him a warning look. The Vice President is the only one to respond. “Your opinion has been duly noted General Damien. But need I remind you that it was a unanimous decision on our part to bring Mr. Redd in here today. Even the President agrees.”
The President knows who I am?
“You don’t know Erroll like I do, and with all do respect, neither does Mr. President.”
I’m happy the awkward silence is broken and all, but all this talk is only further confusing me. And kind of scaring me too. I think Mrs. Montgomery sensed that as well.
“I’m sorry Erroll, you must be very confused about what is going on.”
“Yes ma’am,” is all I can mutter out.
She looks to the Vice President, he gives her a nod of approval.
“We need to discuss an incident with you regarding Zola.”
The word “incident” is never a good thing. It is usually a nice way to say something bad has just happened. And since everyone I love is on that planet, she has my undivided attention.
“We’ve lost contact with them. All our attempts to reach them have failed. We weren’t concerned at first, but then two days ago we got an emergency wave that said everyone was in trouble.”
I’m hearing the words, but they’re having a hard time processing in my mind. That could mean so much. I decide to try to back up and start over again so I can better understand what is happening.
“When did you lose contact with them?”
Mrs. Montgomery clears her throat before she answers me. “We actually, uh, never could set up contact. This entire time.”
“What? They’ve been gone for two year and you’ve never had any contact with them?”
I was told that it was too expensive for me to contact my parents over there so I had to
just wait for them to return, but I never imagined it was because they never set up contact in the first place.“To be fair, there was a lot about this program that we couldn’t understand. The Zolans set everything up for us and we thought everything would work out fine. Before the Zolans left, we had not yet tested out the communication system so we naturally just assumed it was broken this entire time. That is until we got the emergency wave. We now think something may have either gone wrong recently, or was wrong all along and we just now got word of it.”
“Are my parents alive?”
I hear a deep sigh come from Mrs. Montgomery. “I don’t know.”
It feels like a hand has just gripped my heart. Have I been talking to corpses these last two years when I thought they were my friends and family? How could they not know? How could they never tell me that there was a problem from the beginning.
“I’m going to get right to the point son.” The Vice President rose from his chair and began to walk toward me. “You provide us with a unique opportunity.”
“And what is that?”
“As you know, the planet Zola is too far for us to reach with our current state of space travel. We were hoping the Zolans would bestow that knowledge on us but it has yet to happen. Until then we are at the mercy of what technology they have left behind. It doesn’t do us a lick of good to send our consciousnesses over since we got nowhere to go.”
I think I’m starting to see why I am here.
“But I do.”
“That’s right son. You have a body ready and waiting for you. What we want to do is
transfer you to your clone. When you’re arrive, you need to find five key members of the council. There is a capsule that when they take it, will automatically separate their clone from their consciousness and send it back to their bodies. We will then get a report from them in regards to the status of the mission.”The Vice President is know standing right in front of me. He kneels down and looks me eye to eye. “I know you miss your family son. I’m not so sure I agree with the Generals decision to ban you from getting sent over with your mom and dad, but it works for us now. And if you complete this mission, and all is well, then you can stay there with them. Your punishment will be over, and you can start clean on Zola.”
“I thought you said there is a problem there. Everyone is in danger? How would I be able to stay there? And why not just send everyone back at once?”
“Hold up son. Let’s just slow down a bit. We don’t know the entire message that was sent
to us so it could be nothing more than an out of context sentence in a longer piece, so let’s not go jumping to conclusions until we know what is happening.“And as far as sending everyone back, well that would be more of the conclusion jumping. Truth be told, it is a might expensive bit of energy to transfer people over so we don’t want to use that money unless it deems entirely necessary, you hear? And besides, we don’t have a way to ‘pull’ them back down here, they have to be sent from over there. And without a way to contact them, why, I guess you’re our only hope. What do you say?”
I don’t even hesitate before telling him that of course I will go. It’s what I’ve always wanted, although I always dreamt it would be under better circumstances.
The Vice President patted me on the knee. “I knew you’d come through for us. We’ll give you a few hours to get your affairs in order, and you’ll meet the General and Mrs. Montgomery back in the Coma Room in three hours. We thank you sir.”
I don’t know what affairs he thinks a sixteen year old has when his friends and family are on another planet, possibly in danger, so I tell them I’d rather leave as soon as possible.
Once outside the Admin building, I am ushered into a car, but the General decides to join me. As we drive off, it is just the two of us in the back, and I imagine the driver has been trained to not listen to the conversations behind him.
“I know why you don’t want me to go General, but I assure you...”
“Stuff it, kid.” The General cuts me off. “You need to listen to me carefully. I can’t change their decision, so if you’re the one that is going, then that’s that. What we need to do now is get you fully prepared for what you may be facing.”
“I thought I’m just sending those 5 people back.”
“All my years of experience tells me that something stinks here. Not only have we not been in contact with our Ambassadors, but the Zolans haven’t contacted us at all since the Transfer. I think something is going on here, and it’s up to you to find out what. And I don’t care what the Vice President says, if you find out something is wrong, you get everyone together and you send them back over here.”
“I don’t know how to do that.”
The General proceeds to explain to me that one of his computer scientists have programmed a hack to be intercepted in my brain during the Transfer with base knowledge on how to create the capsule to send the individuals back in case there are none to be found. I will also be given the knowledge on how to operate the transfer system to send everyone back to Earth.
And then he surprises me.
“I’ve been monitoring your progress in the fight simulators. You’re very impressive for your age. If you were interested in joining the military when you become of age, you have my approval. But just remember, when you’re over there it isn’t a simulator. You die over there and you don’t wake up. Understand me?”
All I can do is nod my head.
Okay this is freaking me out. First they tell me something is wrong over there, then the Vice President tells me it might not be that big of a deal, then the General is telling me I may be going into combat. I don’t know what to think.
My father would tell me not to make anything worse by worrying about it until I know exactly what I am facing. I just wish he were here to tell me that himself. At least if everything goes okay, I’ll be able to see him soon. I wish he could be there when I wake up, but since nobody is expecting me to show up... I hope someone is there at least...
“What if they didn’t even keep my body?”
The General is surprised by my question. “What do you mean?”
“I mean if I didn’t wake up with them, and if they explained that I wasn’t coming over, what if they just destroyed my clone? I can’t transfer to nothing, right? Won’t that kill me?”
The General opens his mouth as if to say something then shuts it again for a moment. “You know, in all our discussions, that has never come up.”
“Okay... but I’m right, aren’t I? If I get sent out and there’s no receiver, I just disappear into space don’t I?”
“We don’t really now the science behind it, but yes that is what our theoretical scientists postulate.”
“Awesome.” I say, laced with sarcasm. So not only is there a possible problem on Zola, but I may not even make it over there to find out.
“Do you want to back down?”
I feel like my breakfast is coming back up, but I hold it down. “No. I have to try.”
I know sometimes I say a lot of things that I don’t mean, but I have never meant anything more that that statement. No matter what may be waiting for me on Zola, I have to try. After all, I’m their only hope.
I’m their only hope? I take a few deep breaths to try to shake this weight attempting to creep up on my shoulders. How can I be the only hope? Why couldn’t there be someone else, anyone else, that could do this. What am I thinking for going out there? If something goes wrong, I can’t really do anything to stop it.
“Hey! You stay focused on me, you hear?” It seems that the General has noticed my oncoming panic attack.
I nod my head and attempt to catch my breath. I have to just try, I keep telling myself.
No matter what, I have to try.
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